I know I said I would write some posts associated with disability (which there certainly will be upcoming posts), but some of this post involves the long struggle I’ve had with the way I view myself, and how others in the past saw me. However, I’m feeling pretty elated currently (the past few months)- and it’s mostly due to one person in particular.
I first met my boyfriend at my 18th Birthday Party, where, despite the intended joyful occasion, I was drunkenly sobbing, for most of the evening… Most of my guests had turned up half an hour early- and I was still getting myself presentable (what happened to turning up fashionably late?), so it was then that I began drinking and of course was already drunk by the time the party was in full swing… I should also add that this all took place in our NEW house that my family had only been living in for 1 month. It was around 8:30 that I received a phone call from a guest who was due at my party- and he was asking if I would allow a second +1, and I was to drunk to say no, so low and behold- the second +1 also attended. You can probably guess that this was my now boyfriend of 6 months, (and I have drunk me to thank for that, otherwise we’d of never of met as in the new year they ceased being friends ;)).
Flash forward to their arrival- and visibly distressed There were people that were uninvited or even strangers- drinking and eating the food my mum had prepared- it was chaos! My mum had to stop someone from removing their underwear upstairs! I only interacted with Stevie (my now long term boyfriend) once in this fiasco of an evening- and that was to give me a hug as I was crying. Relatively soon after I calmed down, but my parents had seemingly had enough shouted for EVERYBODY. TO. LEAVE (at half 10 or before)…Then I cried even more because people were leaving (and stealing my birthday present booze..)
The day after the party, I check Facebook, upload photos and browse all the embarrassing things I or others did. Then of course I do the usual thing that people do after a great night and add everyone I recognised as a friend- to which Stevie happened to be one of. I did’t interact with him until his birthday (8th January), when I wished him a ‘Happy Birthday’, then message him to ask him how it went. We got to talking, and just clicked, but time passes and we stop talking for awhile due to the friendship issues he faced… I was devastated as I looked forward to his messages- and even got out my phone in lessons when he contacted me(I never did that for anybody) I decide that I wasn’t going to allow other people to make a judgement on a person for me, and I began messaging him again. It happened that the evening ‘inboxed’ him, he was going out and therefore asked for my number so he could text me instead! A few more texts fly between us before we made the decision to meet up (me still being unsure of whether he liked me or not..) I don’t want to go into too much detail (admittedly there’s quite a bit already), but we hit it off practically immediately, and met up two days following. We’ve not been apart since…
He’s made me the happiest I’ve ever been, he saw me for me- and I him. Never once did he see the Cerebral Palsy Left Hemiplegia as an issue. I love him.
Cat 🐱